Monday, February 4, 2008

Meezer Mancat Monday: How to do a Meezer Message


Here I am, exercising my paws. I need to keep them in shape to give Mom my famous Meezer messages. What, you don't know how to give a meezer message? Let me enlighten you....

1. Best time is between 3 and 5 am.

2. Start with a boob walk, pointy feet with 14 lbs of meezer on top of them usually will wake up Mom. She should be awake to enjoy the message.

3. If you think she is still asleep, lay on top of her chest, stare into her face, and tap her mouth gently with your paw, meowing "Mom, are you awake?"

4. Start the message in this position. Use both paws and start kneading her check, being careful not to use too much claw (this makes her cranky).

5. Take a quick potty break. Use the litter box close by and scratch hard so she can hear you.

6. Return to the same position, check Mom again with a paw in her mouth. She really appreciates this after you have used the litter box.

7. Resume kneading. Change positions and curl above her head on the pillow.

8. This is the best part, knead her hair. Use you claws here, her scalp is pretty tough.

9. Do this until she squeals with pleasure.

Its usually more than she can take, so you might get thrown off the bed. But be persistent. I've learned to stop before I get thrown out, or at least move down onto her arm. Who needs to pay for an expensive message when you have a mancat meezer mausese in the house?

20 comments:

topcatrules said...

Oh my gosh!

You are really good!

I tell ya, Siameses are different. Other people keep saying they aren't but I've had two in a row now - the first one for 7 years, then I've had Pye for a year - and they are not like me at all.

I sleep all night long in the one position. And most of the day.

Oh - this is Tigger the FBI Cat

http://tiggerthefbicat.blogspot.com

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

Kavan, thanks for those great massage tips! :) We have both learned to gently tap our dad on the face with our paws, and to dig at our mom's hair. We are also good at the paw in the mouth trick. We'll have to try your other suggestions, although since we are both much lighter than you, we're not sure how well they'll work.

michico*Adan said...

This is excellent!!!!!

I also do No.6 and No.8 very very hardly to michico. It always works!!!!! Thanks~!!!!! You are the specialist!!!!!

Gandalf & Grayson said...

Gandalf loves to do the massage also (minus the litter box). He especially enjoys sitting on her chest and putting his nose on Mom's while he waits for her to wake up. Maybe he's Meezer?

The Meezers said...

excellent lesson Kavan!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

That sounds divine. I can't imagine your Mom doing without such a luxury!

PKPWV said...

He he we did this to our mom today!!! And Yeah the team we were cheering for, The Giants, won but our team is the Colts....so it was a bittersweet victory. But better than new England!! And what a great game-mom was jumping up and down at the end-silly humans!

Kodak, 3 Perf and Winton

Boy said...

That is a good one! I must wearn that!

Rossetti and Kirara said...

Your tips are great!!!! We shall use them on our momma and granmama soon!!!!

The Furry Fighter said...

thank you so much for coming to our birthday party, it was lovely to celebrate with you.

i may ask castle to massage mum's hair - i don't like heights! xxx

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

Yeah, I think you've mastered that skill!!!

I have to say, Meowmy was about 80% sure she and the Toy Man were going to be lost over a ravine in northern NH and be one of those "NJ couple dies after ski trip in Western Maine". I'm glad they made it home OK!!!

Latte

The Cat Realm said...

Hahahahaha - I will definitely try this!!! My maid will be sooooo happy! And the butler too - and I will teach Mrs.OZ and Emil how to do it also....
Thank you soooo much!!!!
Karl

Mickey said...

Hahahahaha!! I like those lessons :) I bet your Mom really loves the head massage and the 'litter' paw in the mouth :)
That was great!! Must try it!
Purrs Mickey

DK & The Fluffies said...

What a fine mancat you've grown into!

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

what a great idea! mommy has a hurty back so she loves massages. i never thought to give her one at night. the best part is she'll alreay be relaxed!

I'd better get to flexing my toes.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Hmmm, I have apparently been doing the 2 am massage all wrong! Thank yoo fur da directions on da proper tekneek.~Sadie

Lux said...

Haha, you are funny, Kavan!

I especially like numbers 5 & 6! :)

Kimo & Sabi said...

Kavan, Dude! You have mastered da Mancat Meezer Massage! I also likes to end by burroughing my nose in Daddykitty's armpit!
Kimo

Wrigley & Cobalt said...

You sound very good at giving massages!! Cobalt likes to knead on moms furrs but she gets mad because it always makes her fur a mat. Then it hurts her to brush it. So we mostly get in trouble.

Pet's are 4 Life said...

oh my goodness, our momma snorted and waughed alots! Cause this sounds alot like something a certain meezermix at this house does!!