Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Thursday Thirteen: Whats not on the news

I like to watch TV alot. Dad leaves the TV on basically 24/7, it drives Mom crazy. But it keeps me company during the day when Mom and Dad are at work. Mom does like to watch the news. We were watching it today, and I found they just don't give me the news I want. Here are thirteen things I didn't hear on the news today:

1. The latest study on the safety of neuticals.
2. How the latest drug bust at the border might impact the supply of nip.
3. How Chey's campaign to make it on the ballot is progressing given the large financial resources obtained by her opponents from big dog businesses.
4. The state of the gattorista's battle with the meezer's for world domination, Luna is being kept in an undisclosed location in the forest (we only thought she was lost).
5. The security plans for Chey's and Latte's wedding, given the media interest.
6. How global warming is impacting the climate in Germany and the governments plans to keep the Sphynxs warm.
7. Current crash test results on strollers.
8. Details on the Skeezix's rescue off the wall after climbing too high and his pink toenails giving out, rescuers are having are hard time getting past Rocky the Gutter cat.
9. Why the price of stinky goodness is going up without a clear decline in supply of raw materials. Don't believe the stinky goodness distributers when they say the producers on the coast are under increasing regulations.
10. What the government is doing to protect kitties from the big lizards living in the water behind Daisy's house.
11. How current DNA and cathropological research clearly show Kimo and Jeter Harris share a ancestor who was once a slave to the Egyptians, forced to hunt mice in the graineries.
12. Progress of legislation making its way through Congress making afternoon naps mandatory after research showing clear health benefits, as every cat knows.
13. Efforts by lawyers working pro bono to spring the ChippenDudes from the county jail when a store clerk thought they were shop lifting when found going through bags of pistachios and brazil nuts.


Bad Kitty Cats & Megan said...

Ahhhh, our mom if she is allowed always has the news on for back ground noise, but for some reason she is mad at the news people. something about a girl named anna always on. I agree Tara- they need to report on these things more, especially the nip.

And by the way, we are sending our condolences for you Baby. Our hearts really break for you all. In forever and for always our family.

Sending squishy love. And maybe Tara you should think about starting your own news program, we would not mind 24/7 listening and watching you. Zed has been oogling you by the way, but Merlin the not the stalker hehehe.

Tara TV would make us stop watching Aristocrats for once! Purrs.

Dragonheart said...

That is a terrific list Tara. Boy, your humans sure have a big TV! That's nice of them to leave it on to keep you entertained. :)

I can't believe the news didn't cover any of the items that you listed! Especially #6. The warm weather throughout Europe this winter is big news over here! Although I guess in the U.S., European weather isn't big news. I haven't heard anyone mention the Sphynx connection though!

My mom says that #12 would be really nice. She hopes the Canadian government starts looking at that too!

Daisy said...

Oh Tara, I would like to learn about ALL of those things too. That is a very great summary of all of the most important things! Thank you for bringing this news oversight to our attention.

Tink said...

I think a lot of cats would tune in to your news!!
My TT has 13 cat quotes this week.

Celfyddydau said...

I didn't hear those on the news either but I could go with number 12

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Um Tara, maybe you should be a news reporter after you get your MzD! I really love your stories, they are MUCH more interesting than the regular news.


The Meezer Gang said...

We LOVE number 13...Yep...that made our day!!!

The Meezers said...

Tara, you should be an Anchor Meezer. we would watch your news cast. When Total Werld Dom-a-nay-shun is achieved, we will rule the airwaves and get the hard news stories.

yao-lin said...

Tara - I think it is admirable that you take such an interest in current events. one of your royal status really has no need to busy oneself with the lives of the riff raff general public. I salute you, princess!

HRH Yao-Lin xxx


Fish tv. They used to have fish tv here all day. It really is the only thing worth watching

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

We have an grate interest in #'2 and #7. We love nip and mom wants to get us a stroller so Sadie and I can safely go outside! Do strollers haf air-bags? Yoo know, just in case mom crashes us.

Kimo & Sabi said...

Hey...a stroller crash test is an excellent idea! Are there seat belts in them strollers? We are getting ready to purchase one...should we consult Consumer Affairs first?

Forty Paws said...

Yup, we agree wid Da Meezer Gang. Number 13 made us laf an laf. Yup. You is one bery smart kitty. We kin tell youze werkin on dat MzD. Yup.

Per-swade yur beans to purchase u some Catnip Vid-ee-yoes, or Cat Babysitter Vid-ee-yoes. Ack-shull-aly, git da DVDs cuz dey ist a con-tin-you-ous loop now an dey jist keep replayin. Yup. Dey ist grate. We kin only watch while under adult souper-vish-yun cuz Obi & Reno try to enter da TV screen to git da byrdz & da skwirrels.


Excellent reepurt Tara. Thank you.

Luf, Us

Jake and Bathsheba said...

We'd start watching the news if it covered those kinds of important topics!

Maybe one of those TV stations could hire you as the next Tara Meezer Couric.


Suzanne said...

your highness, you would make an awesome television announcer, if you would deign to that type of work.


o'jeter harris said...

i would toon into yer noozcast. i am espeshullee intrested in #11.
luv--yer frend--o'jete

McSkeezix said...

Tara, do yoo mind watching the nooz to find owt wether they menshun if nootikuls come in PINK? The teevee is hardly ever on in owr howse (even tho I LOVE watching teevee), so I can't watch the nooz.

Rocky the Gutter Cat said...

Skeez got nervus win he red #7, so I'm taking over reeding yer list. #8 fales to menshun that Skeez fell on top of ME win his pink toenales gave owt, and that was not vary plezint, so I'm gonna hang owt in the tunnelbox to rekooperate. And as for #2: anybuddy hoo has supply problemos shood come strate to me for the best primo nip yoo have ever known.

Max said...

HEY! I know those TV heads you're looking at! Sometimes they're on our TV too! But then the Woman changed the channel, cause the old guy on channel three is dorky and makes her laugh. In a nice way.

Anonymous said...

we never watch the TV and neither does our Lady, but if they reported on all the stuff on your excellent list, we'd all be in front of it all day long.